5 Dec | Posted by Jelena Ciric | no comments |
The title you just read doesn’t mean that dog owners don’t actually love other people. It just means they love their canines infinitely. So, let’s have a joke or two on our own behalf, fellow dog lovers!
1) Pups are great. Babies are OK too
Your cousin is walking toward you with a baby cart and a dog. Long time no see… Your thrilled Awwwww’s put a smile on your cousin’s face. “Err, the baby’s sweet too,” you utter, just to lessen the weirdness of the situation. Of course, you noticed the dog first.
2) There’s a hair in my soup
“… Ew! Oh wait, it’s short and sharp. It’s ok! No, really, I’ll just fish it out… Slurp”
Human hair grosses you out when you find it in a dish. But you don’t think there’s anything disgusting about animal hair. Even when that cherry pie is… hairy. And your sheets and pillows are all hairy. And you wake up every morning with a hair, or ten, in your mouth.
3) You are not very fond of talking to people at random. Unless they are dog persons
You have trouble breaking the ice with new people. Unless they own a pooch. Then the conversation starts naturally and runs swimmingly. Small talks could spontaneously turn into a full-blown coffee drinking or even a date, if you were after one. That girl your friend has told you about, she has a dog? Already seems like a decent person…
A few of the possible topics for casual icebreaking chitchats might be: how to deal with the itch of losing pup teeth, what was the color of your pet’s poop this morning (did it have anything to do with that crunchy kibble you made him), why your dog got unusually quiet and pensive yesterday…Was it a depression of some kind?
4) You talk to your dog
… And those are real conversations. You tell him good-night stories. You even engage your imagination in inventing new stories so he wouldn’t get bored hearing the same ones over and over. You always try to make them didactic so he could learn the ways of life.
“Once upon a time, there was a happy little dog. Only one thing troubled him: he was born without a tail.” And the tale goes on and on until the little hero finds another way to express his feelings – by wagging his ears. You tailor this (otherwise unlikely) story to your dog’s needs because you adopted him after he lost his tail in an accident. And you don’t want him to feel different and suffer because of it.
5) You talk to your dog. On the phone
“Hey mum, how’s it going… I’m ok too, I’ll be back in a month, love you. Is Molly around? Let me hear her for a moment.”
Then Molly starts panting on the phone. This conversation will end 15 or 20 minutes later.
6) Your human relationships depend on your dog’s attitude
You decided to develop a new relationship. Sure, you’re aware that you need the dog’s estimation and approval of your choice.
When you bring a date home, does your dog growl and won’t let them near you? Yes, all of us know jealousy is never the answer. But… There just has to be a reason why the pooch doesn’t like this person. Pooches know a bad person when they see one. Aaaaand – off the no-good person goes. “Who’s my little guardian angel, who’s my poochie coo!”